Why those girls care about Ricky, why anyone even goes to his shows, I just dont get it man. He cant sing, up their just yellin his voice all raspy and macho, what a poser. I hate when people sing like that. His songs are all Sex Pistols ripoffs just completely unoriginal and played by a bunch of amateurs! But he gets booked Friday with Hot Mama Mayhem and I dont even get a call back?
Maybe it's because his mom cooks such delicious pie. Those pies are legendary around these parts. I once had an old lady tell me that they were better than sex! I shudder to think about her wrinkles jiggling with pleasure as she scarfed down Ricky's mom's plum pie. Those certainly were the days when I pie could get you popular.
I also suspected that it was his Camaro.
Well call me a purist, but I am a real punk rocker, the real deal. But let's face it: people would rather have a pretty face, a hot car, and sweet plum pie.
She was different, though. Her plum pie had gone to prunes late last year, but the smell of experience and patchouli made me feel at home. I knew that the love we'd make would be earthy, smoldering. Little did I know she would rather have a plum pie than the torn up passions of a man like me.
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