Saturday, August 19, 2006

Rambling cross-country poem

A stub of a poem which has been designed to be expanded ad nauseum by various authors, wtih the punctuation "..." indicating a portion as yet unwritten. I wreckommend typing as quickly as you can or better still dictating, followed by unrevised transcription.

Lick that look off your face

Vicarious joys which have been
X-perienced
one and another
through electric magic portals
and another and another
feverish flunky sets down
for an evening of
kicking of the self

topless, plopless
and limping

Watch this candle drip forth
with unknowing thoughts across
the body of junkies yet undeterred
by the filth of their scatterbrained
monopolies.
Never before has one cow set upon another
cow's apron with such a strong will
to drive to San Diego.



...

wherein and whereon and who-so-forth
shall settle within a circle
of designated colleagues
or predetermined footpaddles-
or chicory beverage manifold
friends-become-preachers
with continuous sermons
about she-she-it become
the man
and she-she-it remaining
where he-her-him
shall have to remain
we all have our duties

No no no NO no no NO NO NONONON O
If you scream into a bucket, no no no,
if you scram into a buccet, but no no no, that isn't
right either, so let's try again:
if you stream into a fucket, and then we're off again,
the normal pace of elephant swindling can resume.

"Take charge of your life," Childress said, breathing heavily. His nose
dripped crimson and whistled.

"Shut the fuck up, man!" the kid answered, picking himself up and heading for the alley. "I got my junk
now, so I'm happy right? Fuck you, Childress!"

A near whisper from the lady next door, asking them to keep it down. It
was the third night in a row there'd been fisticuffs in the courtyard. She
was going to call the cops, goddammit, if they didn't go inside right this minute
and cut the shit.

But that seemed eons ago to the man standing at the top of the stairs. He laughed and
stroked at his arm, his fingers running lengthwise over long, blasphemous scars. Light
years ago, he'd met the people in this apartment complex, and from the first minute, he
knew he'd murder them all. There was nothing else to it.

...

So Fidel Castro has been here
and he's eaten pancetta and steak wraps
from Buffalo. So he's also played
volleyball with her majesty's ailing eyeball
and his pancreas ain't what it used to be.
So, that Chavez is in town to drink shakes and
make friendly friendly chattity chat chat.
Up yours punkass mother bird! Mother fucking
fucker birdass punk!

The wind!

...

Down 'bama way,
I bumped into a boy
who threw a quarter in
my face and
flapped his jack
till the cows came home
again.

...

pan-gong-song
while people are sleeping
is sure to anger
even the doormats
and shitmice
The rattle
of prattle
closed the door on cattle,
so keep closed
your orifices of pie
and seal them with
a few rolls of
Stay-Shut

...
Sunstain pangs
sunpang stains
and the world spins
round and round
and ohmygod I've
fallen prey once
again to the kidney
eater from the alleyways
of Budapest,
the Budapest Barber,
twas his name
and number.
Call upon the redbreast
and the red beret of
appeal to catch a glimpse
of doctor poison.
...

Feel the electric magic
Lest you be laughed at
by the tragic
and scorned by the rabbit
in the corduroy jacket
Walk a talkie
down to the seaside
bee ride
(akin to teabagging)
La vida is not a miracle
or a spectacle
it is merely another habit
passed down from Mom
like so many mitochondria

...(insert portion about
cell phones coming to life
and using persons as food)...

Whatever shall your eyeball behold
such as:
fights, quarrels, squirrels,
marriage, things-that-should and
things-that-should-not-be,
brothers of compost,
sisters with extracephalic ears,
skirts and their contents,
piano wires used as exercise equipment,
people on drugs,
people falling in love with
each other and themselves
underneath gay autumn leaves,
rolls of television,
...
riots over who owns the sun,
fish without fears,
when it is known they should not be so,
cows feeling pressure to fit in,

Ne'erdowells, and he'erdowells
and sce'erdowells, and fle'erdowells,
and ne'er upon the name of
torrents torrential love affair
will I commit the name of
my father to a sinful
disgrace.
That is for your pride to handle and not
for this.

Whatever shall your earhole
listen in upon
such as:
automobiles and their
wheelspinning,
birds sinning early in the morning,
the thud of tangerines,
argumenters argumenting in the night,
the national past-time,
...
...

Predictions of where we are going
have clearly been predicted using
a pie chart showing where people
have been kicked in the past
though we all raise an eyebrow
to the percentage regarding
private parts

...

...

Let the railroads work on
themselves,
Let the weasel perform some
task more useful than mere
going of "POP"

Have you ever imagined
imagined
imagined
imagined
imagined
imagined
imagined
a game so fucking boring!

The handle of a candle
cannot be used
as a sandal

The wick on a stick
will be used
with which to lick.

etc...

A Note Written by Chubs and left at Stonehenge in a Velvet Envelope!

Vern:

When inspiration strikes you,
don't strike back.

Swallow your pride and your gumption,
after you've spat your teeth on the ground,
call a plastic Taco Bell cup a chalice,
if it makes you feel better.

Chubs

Monday, August 14, 2006

Dance the dance[s]

In the interest of expanding A HaHa is (N)ot Art! to include more types of media, I have composed the following dance. You will dance by performing each component for exactly 2 counts. When you get to the end, you will either start over or you will shut the music off and stop dancing right away.

1. stand on yer left leg. Remain so until step 5
2. yell
3. put both yer hands straight up in the air
4. stomp twice with yer right foot
5. stand on both feet and look around
6. look at the floor and jump up twice
7. look up at the ceiling and jump twice
8. turn your head to the right, shrug your shoulders, thrust your hips leftward, now flap your hands like a bird.

This dance can be used for songs such as "Yankee doodle dandy," "Pop goes the weasel," songs from The Very Best of Cher and most songs by Megadeth. But dancing it to any sort of Coldplay songs would make you look like a jackass. It is good also for parties.

Yet another bet to be placed

My spite

has become the spittle

of torrid debaters

rotting underneath the Saturn

tune.

 

Did Nietzsche grimace

into the face of that horse,

or were his sighs

just a feign?

Lip